Chinese Softshell Turtles & Pre-calculated Tips

Do you normally assume that restaurants get the math right and you simply put down the pre-calculated-for-you, whatever-tip-percentage-amount-is as your tip in the receipt?

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

What a Chinese softshell turtle.

photo by Wingham Wildlife Park

                                   

You are a Chinese softshell turtle because that is what Hong Kongers call gullible folks. And you most certainly are a Chinese softshell turtle if you trust restaurants to do math for you! You think they have your best interest at heart? Please. What a naivete. They are in it for the business, aka money, at the end of the day!

Listen my dear readers:

you have got to do the math for yourself because you probably paid more than you intended, for many, many restaurants. Not all of them but a good number of them. I have and I am a bloody, supposedly savvy New Yorker! Why?

Because these despicable restaurants calculate their suggested tips' amounts based on the AFTER-TAX total, not the BEFORE-TAX total! 

yes, maybe they didn't know better but maybe they did! See, naivete.

You should ONLY tip on the amount of foods and drinks you have consumed/ordered, PERIOD. Not on the amount of taxes New York City and New York State (and the Metropolitan Commuter Transportation District) charge you to eat at a restaurant. You have to paid a total of 8.875% sales tax, an amount also pre-calculated for your convenience and stated on the receipt, and you would have done your part in regards to taxes by paying that already.

If you calculate your tip amount based on the AFTER-TAX total, you would be paying a tip on this tax too, not just on your foods and drinks. Why should you pay EXTRA money on this tax as part of your tip too?! Because you don't have to and you shouldn't.

This is an up-to-no-good receipt:

And this is a normal-as-it-should-be receipt:

Next time you get a receipt from a restaurant, click the calculator app on your phone and check the math by multiplying the PRE-TAX TOTAL with whatever % of tips you would like to leave. This resulting number (x) would be the tip amount you are tipping the restaurant, so to get the ultimate final total you are paying the restaurant before you leave, you add (x) and the AFTER-TAX total together. That's it, easy.

E.g.


Now, do you feel, even if just a little, that I am being cheap for caring this much about this tipping difference? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not being cheap. I am just being a smart consumer, not a Chinese softshell turtle. Do you like paying more than you need, should or even want? If you are so keen on tipping your servers more, perhaps you can make a donation to my blog? I work hard to deliver this post to you! :p Otherwise, you are welcome as my tip (pun intended) just saved you money!

Good luck Tzeing (silent T, pronounced like seeing) New York!

Mastering the Metro card - Swipe It Right!

Don't be that aggravating tourist who can't swipe the metro card!

You KNOW that guy or gal who repeatedly swipe their metro card only to get a sad digital message from the little screen saying...

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You can almost taste the distaste from the locals behind these folks. Listen, the metro card swiping machine is sensitive.

Too slow, denied.
Too fast, denied.

There is a fine line between them but it is not difficult. After swiping the metro card for over 20 years, I can safely say I am an "expert swiper" at getting that sweet spot...

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To swipe like a local and NOT aggravate New Yorkers who happen to be behind you...

1.     hold you metro card (firmly but not with a death grip!) with the dark gray nearly black stripe FACING YOU, and

2.     glide (not jam!) the metro card straight through (don't curve your motion upward) the machine as if you are gliding an imaginary paper airplane through that machine. The pace should feel natural. 1 second and you have slid the card through the card reader. You are not gliding the card like BOOM! fast. Or like a snail with a fear of the unknown. You glide the card through the card reader like a confident and seasoned local.

video

If you forget the above movement, watch the people IN FRONT OF YOU and see how they do it like a pro. PAY ATTENTION, PEOPLE! And if you really can't do it after 3 attempts, stop. Turn around and ask the woman/man behind you who isn't a tourist and ask her/him nicely to help you. (No shame in asking. We can't expect non-locals to know how this sensitive metro card business works now, can we?) You know they are locals if they have a mildly annoyed or impatient face on their head. Watch this person closely and learn it firsthand. New Yorkers are 95% helpful even with an annoyed or impatient face. For real.

Also, be sure NOT to bend you metro card, especially the dark magnetic stripe or your card is very likely unusable. Speaking from experiences.

Ask your friends and family who have been to NYC for their metro card so that you can add money straight into their metro card with cash/credit card at the metro card buying machines within all subway stations, without having to pay for the $1 fee just for the physical metro card. Unless, of course you want the metro card as a souvenir. If you are lucky, you just might get a Game of Thrones design metro card at the machines.

photo by HBO

Good luck Tzeing (silent T, pronounced like seeing) New York!